Tuesday, October 22, 2013

Wallflower by Heidi Belleau

I received this book as an ARC from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review. Thanks.

I have to say I really enjoyed this story. I wasn't sure quite sure what to expect when I began reading, but I was interested especially since Rob plays an MMORPG, and so do I. Though I have to say WOW, I'm sorry I mean Kingdom of Elves, is probably not the best choice if the author was trying to establish gamer cred. I know it's massively popular, but it's not necessarily a gamer's game, and it is vastly overused. If Rob was really as hardcore into online games as he appeared to be, chances are he's be playing something harder. Just a small issue, but knowing some pretty hard core gamers, I am not one, it doesn't ring true to me, and pulls me out of the moment just a bit.

I really loved Rob. I loved that no matter how insecure, and socially awkward he was that he wasn't the stereotype of the shy, virginal nerd. Can I say that was hands down one of the sexiest sex scenes I have read in quite some time. I found his quest for his own identity to be interesting, and complex. I respect the courage it took for him to explore both his sexual and gender identity beyond other people's definitions and labels. I also appreciate the lessons he learned, and the understanding he gained when he explored his feminine identity. I liked that being a girl was not as simple, or as easy as he first expected, and that it wasn't a story that shied away from the possible consequences of his exploration. Not that the exploration was bad, but that being female or feminine isn't the end of all his problems. That being female comes with it's own set of issues.

I had more problems with Dylan. It's not that I didn't like him, but even at the end I found his abrasive and confrontational nature a bit hard to deal with. I understand that, as a white girl, there is no way I would understand his racial, and cultural issues. I don't pretend I understand what it's like for him, but for someone who talks about how people, white people, try to define him he seems very comfortable making blanket statements, and generalizations about white people as a whole, and that annoyed me. I know the history behind the adoptions he talks about, and it is just as terrible as he makes it out to be. It is a blight on our history, but seeing his family at the end, and how loving, and supportive they were of his sister made me feel that he was doing them a great disservice by the way he talked about all white adoptive families. I'm sure they didn't adopt him with evil intentions, and chances are they had no knowledge of the government policies that dictated his placement. Chances are they were just a couple who were looking to love a child, and it felt like he carried a bit of anger he that directed at them that they didn't deserve. Seeing his poorly directed bitterness and anger made me lose a bit of respect for him, but he's still young, and hopefully with time he will grow up a bit. I'm not saying that I disliked him, but the chip on his shoulder was a bit much at times.

I did like Rob, and Dylan as a couple, and I liked how well they worked together. I loved how Rob never let himself be cowed by Dylan. That Rob wasn't afraid to call him on his attitude, and how respectful Dylan was of him. There was none of the big alpha top vs submissive little bottom dynamics in their sex lives, and it made for a better balanced relationship, and, for me, even hotter sex. It also made the characters feel that much more complex and dynamic. They weren't stereotypes, or roles, but fully developed and nuanced people. I really felt the connection between them, and I loved seeing their interactions. Their banter was truly entertaining.

I loved the secondary characters. They are a varied cast, and are just as real and complicated as the main couple. I love the support system Rob has with most of his roommates. I really enjoyed Max and Christian, and I'm really looking forward to reading their story. That's right I read book two without having read book one, and I didn't feel lost or confused. I think reading the first book will add to the experience, but I didn't feel that I lost out on anything vital waiting and reading it second either.

I really enjoyed the conclusion to this story. It remained true to the complexity and tone of the story, and it really worked well for me. Not everything went as I expected, and I liked that. There were people that disappointed me, and others that defied any ideas I had about them. Overall it was a really strong story about identity and acceptance, love and friendship, and about being true to yourself, and your desires even when you are in the process of discovering what that identity looks like, and what you truly desire. Becoming the person you wish to be is not a simple process, and one I'm not sure really ever really ends, and I love how that plays out in this story. Truly honest, and heartfelt. I can't wait to read more especially after what takes place in the end.
 
Em

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